U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
