i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
