Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
