i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
