Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
