so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
