Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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