college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
