Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
