my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
cat food counts as protein by the way
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
