She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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