I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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