I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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