i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
