quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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