I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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