Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
