I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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