It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
