one might say we're banned from that church
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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