Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
