I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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