He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
