So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
please come you make the beer taste better
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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