Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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