So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Randomize
