the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
