Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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