Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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