i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
