I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
