i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
