i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize