Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
