I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
