How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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