I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
