yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
