This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
