nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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