"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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