my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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