So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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