If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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