Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I supernannyed him into submission
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
