Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
