i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
