Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
