Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The beers last night were like the tears from god
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
