I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
