My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
