I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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